Miller June Update 2024
Sweet Sherlock sleeping by our feet. Taking up 1/4th of the bed...
Wait, another month already? It feels like just last week that I wrote the last one.
A lot and not much happened this month. It felt like that struggle to keep from slipping and constantly trying to regain balance. Half a step away from complete collapse and heading into the hospital. It feels like slipping on ice, where we can kinda regain our balance, scrambling just enough to keep from face-planting. For the past two months. If we weren’t working on something or prepping it right before needing it done, we were sleeping or sitting staring at a wall in a daze to process.
So just a heads-up, either July or August we may disappear for most of the month apart from what was already scheduled. We do not recover quickly and are still stumbling from April’s over-socializing. Due to our health, we have to do ‘Radical Resting,’ which means we put a lot of time aside to allow ourselves to fully rest. PTSD and insomnia mean we get 4 hours of sleep at a time at best and usually with nightmares or physical pains. So we are fighting an uphill battle with our energy levels during the day.
Hoping this is the last round of ablations needed!
John has been doing quite well. His nightmares are kicking up more intensely due to trauma therapy, so he’s exhausted fighting what keeps popping up daily. Michelle just got another round of ablations, so she's feeling a bit better but still taking it easy. Ablations involve needles sent into the spine to burn off the edge of the nerves in the back. They are a step beyond epidurals, which I assume are more widely understood. So it’s weird that neither of us can do a lot of physical work/lifting up and down due to our severe conditions: My messed-up spine and his POTS. POTS stands for “Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome," a chronic blood circulation disorder that causes symptoms when standing up or sitting up. So our recovery period for almost anything we do is doubled at a minimum.
We want to state in advance that our business and steps are not fast. It may look like we aren’t doing much to keep this going, but we are EAGER to do this. Just with our bodies failing a little faster than intended. Just two weeks ago we were finally approved for pay to cover our basic needs every month. It’s been so much more of a fight than it needed to be just to stay alive but we're making it. Also, executive dysfunction is such a difficult thing to fight when your brain is wired wrong. No amount of building a pattern will solve it. And Michelle has tried every day for 20 years straight. So now the only option is to just go with what the body allows and manage the best option for this time.
This past month we have gotten more and more comments on how interesting our lives are. What was funny is just last year we would have brushed that off with a laugh. This year, we are going to have to agree. The stories we hear others go through… WE CAN RELATE! We can empathize where many can't because we have personally gone through that kind of experience. We hear many people state their struggles with one of our similar lived health conditions, we have a lot of insight. Not trying to compare our struggles as worse, but that we UNDERSTAND from their standpoint. At least, as much as you can, being completely different people. We have a gift others don’t: we can relate. And better yet: we can offer advice (if asked) on what we did to improve. Usually, there are various options we’ve tried, an overall understanding of the process, and tangible steps to attempt themselves. Even if it doesn't work, at least they can learn where and how to make adjustments that will work for specifically themselves.
One of these days we will start writing out our story. Because I gotta say, we got a special one. I mean, two difficult and extremely unique autistics finding each other randomly online and being the best fit for each other, clawing out of severe depression/being suicidal for most of our lives, changing to a strong marriage with excellent teamwork, creativity, intelligence, and understanding on par daily. We were MADE for each other. Not saying this in a cutesy lovey-dovey way (though yes, it applies). I mean it in a ‘How the hell does something like this happen if not purposefully made for each other’ kind of way. Some could be a coincidence…but can a coincidence happen multiple times a year with large impactful events but also every day in our moments together for 7 years STRAIGHT? How is that not a surprising miracle in itself? And there’s more!?
This slow process begins. We will expect it a year from now. Or sooner if we manage something. If anyone has questions that may help start us off. We hope that explaining our stories will also have others take another look at theirs and learn to see where they have control as well as appreciate their own stories.
So a small part we will go into about our similar stories involves cyclical celebrations.
We are open and happy to celebrate our anniversary far more than our birthdays. Because this day was a conscious choice for both of us and not imposed in any way by anyone else.
Birthdays are not always fun or happy for everyone. There are kids whose birthdays were hijacked by their parents so it was never about them. So saying ‘Happy Birthday’ is kind of a slap in the face and a painful reminder of growing up not enjoying birthdays. If someone never talks about their birthday or doesn't bring it up when the time rolls around...then maybe don't mention it if you already don't know how they would respond.
We understand not many people remember after we have told them and don’t mean it in a rude sense. Plus that seems like a lot of work for a small group of people. Even growing up and looking at friends and relatives of mine (cousins), many of their birthdays were never about them (what we like to call Checklist children). Michelle didn't realize how much it hurt until 5 years with John they noticed a pattern of her getting extremely depressed the week of then pick up a week to two weeks after. With the memories she can recall attached, it makes sense.
So just some awareness for others that this should not be a good ‘default’ comment. Perhaps think of something not like the typical clichés; to make it hopeful for the current and future birthdays, i.e., "I hope your birthday gets better and better for you every year!" To be fair, the reasons people suffer this are probably because their parents had similar experiences as children. But that is not the pain of the present. Do we really need to perpetuate it?
Also…we both believed we were going to die growing up, so at our current ages, we are still clicking in our heads, “we are still alive? now what?” So heads-up, Michelle may just be depressed or dissociated or irritable or be selectively mute at times. Having more than half of her birthdays being suicidal and severely depressed…it all just hits in a wave of memories. As time mellows out each cycle, outweighing the negative years, things will improve. But it all takes time.
We are hoping that with time and more HAPPY or POSITIVE events to tip over that heaviness we both carry. The time will come, but that time is not now. We are fighting over a decade of nonstop negative events, so of course, it will take quite a bit of time.
Thank you for understanding.
Ok, so with that summer update (i.e., our birthdays and wedding anniversary are all in the summer), we can move on to specifically the business.
INTERVIEW
We’ve been interviewed again! Thanks to Bold Journey for sharing our story on their page, and we would love for you to see it: https://boldjourney.com/meet-john-michelle-miller
That makes three interviews since we started our business! That is not something we thought we would ever accomplish. Can’t wait to see what else we accomplish~
Thank you to those who nominated/recommended us for these interviews!
ATCS
We are still pleased with our lovely display newly updated and refreshed~
Another set of ATCs is out at Who Gives a Scrap up for grabs. Michelle has been so busy this year keeping up that we haven’t had a chance to calculate how many kits we have made. Just for this location for the year 2024 up to July. Our goal here is 50 kits per month.
Let’s go over the stats!
- January: 206
- February: 62
- March: 52
- April: 142
- May: 163
- June: 53
- July: 55
With a grand total of 733 kits to date!
Michelle does 99% of the work on these by herself and experimented with various ideas on the kit types, style of presentation, experiences, perceptions, advertising, etc. John helps occasionally fill the kits when items are prepped and makes all of the ATC instructional videos on our website. These are all free to help encourage people in the community to create art.
What’s crazy is that we still have many more kits waiting! This is exciting for us that people in our community are enjoying creating Artist Trading Cards and hopefully keeping their experience or sharing their art with others. The creativity process is extremely important for every living creature. Exercising this ‘muscle’ brings so much more benefit than just to the individual but to those around them. AND we get to upcycle art supplies that would have been normally thrown away. So quite a Win-Win-Win situation!
Samples of a few cards this month. The others are buried right now.
CRAFTY CARD COLLECTIVE
Some pics we took of our last event and samples of what we were doing!
Our events went well! We tried something different and had two days of our event: an indoor at the library and an outdoor at the Austin Bluffs Open Space. The theme was Clear Tape ATCs. We had many happy attendees enjoying this version of Artist Trading Cards, everyone making about 5 cards! The indoor class went over the basics of the card and how to make your card/complete it with various items to play and experiment with. The second day was outdoors, the purpose was to look around and find nature items that can be used as art materials, as well as going over two ways of drying flowers/leaves to be used. Fresh flowers and leaves still hold moisture and may mold. Highly recommended to dry your pieces at least two weeks (here in CO it is very dry so may not take as long as other locations). Here are some images of pre-dried flowers Michelle had prepared a few weeks to a year earlier.
The next event is Mixed Media. We will be painting, drawing, gluing, sticking stickers, and more. This will be hosted at The Rainy Day Anime store on July 28th from 11am-1pm. Everything is free, and you’ll enjoy some great crafty company. If you already have cards made, this would be a great time to come trade or show off your cards!
In the future, we are curious if we should have two dates per month for these events. The groups of people we encounter seem to mainly stay on one side of town or the other. Some people who go to 21C come from nearby counties, making the drive to Rainy Day Anime store too far for them. We want to introduce this art form to more people and get people creating. To do this, we will need to reconsider the ranges of our target market. Also, how can we encounter more awesome crafty people if we don’t encounter more people? This won’t happen until 2025 if we decide to continue hosting these events.
We are also planning on an end-of-the-year party in December! For those who hate the holidays but want to celebrate and have some crafty-fun with others, this is perfect for you~
ART SWAP
We got the BIG room at 21C this year. These tables were packed by mid-event.
Who Gives a SCRAP hosts an Art Swap almost once a month, where you bring in your unwanted art supplies to trade for someone else’s art supplies. Some items are brand new, while others may be gently used. Items such as a Cricut or antique ephemera have been found at these as well! We enjoy the surprising finds available each time. It’s very addicting to keep going in circles to find new items. There is a consistent stream of new people coming in and leaving their stuff, with something new to see or grab quicker than you can pay attention!
We sincerely thank those who came to this event and visited us at our crafting table. It makes us extremely happy to have people who genuinely want to talk with us during these events. We look forward to seeing you all at future Art Swap events on August 31st, September 14th, and November 2nd. September may be iffy as there are still scheduling talks going on between PPLD and WGAS, so the date is subject to change.
If you would like us to host a monthly event or class closer to you, let us know! We may need to take that into account when scheduling next year.
And yes we did manage to go home with amazing items found and given at this event!
OUR ART
We have been creating! Well, not as much as we would like, but still something. Michelle has been making as many recycled papers as she can from saved scrap papers. June has been the first warm month of the year, and this is the only time to tackle this project. It also helps clean up the apartment! What gets thrown in are spam from snail mail, leftover scraps from other art projects, unwanted scribbled notes, unused printed papers (e.g. unused ads/papers we printed), and even egg cartons! Michelle is doing an experiment to see what pure paper pulp from egg cartons produces. Images and items for purchase will be up on our Ko-Fi page.
Now we have tons of beautiful handmade papers that are just fun to the touch. Michelle did a tools test on the paper to show how well it holds ink from various utensils, ranging from pens, pencils, highlighters, paint pens, paint, and more. The video will need to be worked on by John, then it’ll be posted. But the image of the results still tells a lot:
As you can see, quite a few work really well. This had mostly recycled papers and a few egg cartons mixed in.
John was finally able to complete making an AWL and punching cradle for Michelle to bind her junk journals. Those have been assembled and are waiting for the next step for a few weeks. Videos of the process will be made and released down the road too. Michelle is going to let her creativity go wild, and you’ll get to see the craziness! Some of them may be up for sale on our Ko-Fi page for members only: http://www.Ko-Fi.com/onourtrail
OUR PHOTOS
Michelle hasn’t taken as many photos as she normally does. This month has been exhausting, so even taking photos has taken a backseat. Hope you enjoy these little snapshots from June 2024!
Michelle really enjoys taking pictures of nature.
Some of you may have received a message from us to help vote for one of the sticker designs we are ordering! We have had to fight ourselves over the past year to accept payments for our products and services. You may think this is a weird thing to do, but this is what trauma does. It wires your brain so that ‘normal’ may not be normal. Then you end up fighting your childhood core beliefs for the rest of your lives (e.g., “I’m not worthy” or “I’m a burden,” etc.). These DO physically paralyze people from taking action. Ironically, June was supposed to be the month of finally focusing on selling our sticker designs and contacting more businesses to host art classes. Instead, we are still struggling to recover from the previous months. This is why we are also going to push for a month of rest so we can get back to focusing on our business.
New stickers will be available to order every month. These newest ones should be in by next week! Stay tuned!
FATHERS IN THE FIELD
We gave out tons of free shirts, hats, bracelets and stickers!
We are still pleased to be a part of this ministry to help mentor fatherless boys and support single mothers and widows. John and I are considered ‘Church Champions’ in this group as our titles. We work mostly behind the scenes: John handles tech, managing photos, emails, social media accounts, etc. I help make crafts and worksheets to support learning, as well as brainstorm, review, and edit for John.
This has been an exciting group that is passionate about helping younger generations (boys aged 7-17) and leading them to become strong, dependable men.
We highly suggest you check out the national page about this ministry: https://www.fathersinthefield.com/
In June, we spoke with the congregation between three services to help find more men willing to be mentor fathers to fatherless boys in our community. It was exhausting but something we were pleased to be a part of. This was a manageable experience because most of the rest of the group is social and eager to talk to others. So as long as we can share the basics, we can drag over someone more social to handle continuing the conversation. It was very helpful knowing that we had a support position in the group that we believe was made specially for us. That allowed others to shine in what they do best and for us to shine in what we do best.
Men interested in being mentor fathers (it is a one-year commitment at a time, up to three years), people passionate about supporting the cause, single mothers with fatherless boys looking for help, and widows seeking assistance should visit the main page linked above.
KO-FI
We are still on Ko-Fi, hoping to be more interactive with people interested in what we do or create. Transitioning to a new platform is quite difficult. Trying to weave it into our normal patterns is hard as it is, but when everything else is wobbly, it’s hard to focus on this specific pattern, isn’t it? But we really do like this platform and are dedicated to offering you more freebies and options there. It also offers you a direct and indirect way of influencing our artistic journey.
Please consider following us on https://www.Ko-Fi.com/onourtrail
RECOMMENDATIONS
These used to be written in separate blog posts when we collected enough. But why not just add them here? That gives you a chance to look and try them! We will post some things that we found in June that we would love to share with you and hope you enjoy!
This month, we have snacks and videos to recommend.
For snacks, we found these Coconut Rolls at Sprouts, and so far, every choice they have is delicious! The ingredients are also very acceptable in terms of minimal ingredients with great taste. There is a mango one that surprisingly sounds a little iffy, but we guarantee its tastiness.
For those who prefer salty snacks: Whisps! We have only tried the Asiago and Pepperjack cheese so far. We found them at Sprouts and couldn’t find them again to try a different choice. These could also be great crushed up on a salad or in soup. We prefer them as little snacks, but they disappear quickly!
As for videos:
I Made $114,127,975,963 by Exploiting the Public and Collapsing the Film Industry - Blockbuster Inc
An extremely fun game played by someone who loves to push games to their limits. Everything seems so much more intuitive to build your stories. John and I were contemplating whether to purchase this game down the line to give it a shot. What do you think of the game? Or of the video? If you love simulator games and chaos, you’ll love this!
3 SCARY GAMES #105
Now if you know Markiplier, you know he plays a variety of scary games. The ones he covered here were pretty interesting. At least the idea, concept, and execution of some of them. Skip if this isn't your thing!
Vietnam's Venetian Village: Life in a Floating House
Harald Baldr travels again! To the wonderful floating houses in Vietnam which we are very jealous of him being there and it now on our 'to-travel' list! Such a gorgeous natural place you can sort of experience just through this video.
Now below is a list of funny videos. We love standup comedy and every so often we come across ones that just make us laugh! Always looking for new people to listen to and it’s sad that there are some people that..just aren’t funny. Is it just us but most female comedians just aren’t funny. The percentage of females who do stand up and are FUNNY, is small in comparison to male stand up comedians. Michelle has a theory that it’s because of the range of topics males can openly joke about but just sounds weird and ‘off’ when a female attempts it. Perhaps the range of types of humor may need to shift for women to make them funnier. Sorry what a tangent.
Have fun and enjoy!
When English Is Your First And Second Language. Vien Phommachanh
The World's Best Crowd Comedian. Jim McCue - Full Special
Never Mix A Wiener With A Golden Retriever. Mike Brody - Full Special
Don't Teach Your Grandma How To Text. Tim Wilkins - Full Special
Ok, so we had a lot more funny videos but lost the list. So either those will be posted next month or we will just start from scratch and hope to keep better track for next time.
DATE
It was a really bright and sunny day out! Love spending time together~
We went on a date! Not necessarily about our business directly, but indirectly. We are aiming to be more comfortable in more types of clothing. Since we both hated standing out (as was a danger growing up), this is a big challenge. We just try to make it fun to help ease us into the pattern. We dressed up, we were out in public, and we wore new clothes we liked and wanted to wear, but never had a reason to wear it. If we are going to be the face of our business, we have to present ourselves in a certain way. So another aspect of our business we are taking a look at; how you, as a person, can make an impression in ways you don't realize.
We’ve been wanting to go to the Renn Faire for a few years now, but due to financial struggles, we had to keep putting it off. John did some extra paid research studies, plasma donations, and work in April and May to save up for this so we could go. We had a goal of dressing up to go, but 1) the outfits are expensive, so we could buy one item every year to build an outfit, 2) it’s difficult to know what we are looking for, and 3) IT’S SO HOT IN THE SUMMER which rules out many fun outfits that are too thick and heavy for the weather and 4) there is a lot of walking so gotta minimize our choices even more to take into account the activity required to get around.
But we dressed up for our date and enjoyed doing something different for a change. It was a very popular weekend, so we were peopled out pretty quickly. Either way, it was a very successful and enjoyable time together.
UPDATES
A while back, we announced that we were going to switch these blog post updates to members only. However, Wix changed things again, so that is on hold because the means we were expecting to use either doesn’t look like an option anymore or is deeply buried somewhere else. Thank you for your patience as we work on this.
With that, we also need to relearn much of Wix. We are planning to go out less in July and August to catch up. Adjustments will be made as we go along. If you encounter an issue, we would greatly appreciate it if you could message us about the problem you found. Thanks so much!
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We enjoy hearing people whisper about hearing about ATCs when encountering us at our tables. It means we are helping make a little ripple in our city. If we keep going and sharing this, how far do you think it would spread? We have noticed that the general mark of being taken seriously for anything you do as a business, career, or passion is about 10 years. Yes, some can jump that significantly, but if you only manage small steps consistently, it takes 10 years. Are we willing to stick with it for 10 years? Since we have excitedly kept this up for almost two years, this could be very likely! How fun would that be?
So we want to thank you, the individual reading this, for being with us at an early point in our chosen path and the long journey ahead. We hope to see you in a year’s time and appreciate the impact you’ve had in our lives, supporting us either directly or indirectly. Thank you.
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With that, that ends our June 2024 update for Onourtrail.com with John, Michelle, and Sherlock Miller. Thanks again for your support whether openly or quietly. We hope to see you further down the road on our Artistic Autistic Journey!
REVEL IN HER CUTENESS!!
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